Have you ever decided to do something, suddenly been overwhelmed with apprehension and the nagging feeling that you’re about to make a tremendous mistake, and then done it anyway? And then it turned out to be the catastrophe you predicted? And you wonder what’s the point of being smart enough to see trouble coming if you’re not going to bother avoiding it?
Well, I’m watching a horror movie called “Pontypool” now in my house by myself with the lights off. It’s about zombies, I think? Who speak French? Maybe? I don’t know – the description I read was somewhat vague. I know that I’ll watch this entire movie thinking “this isn’t so bad.” But the second I turn it off, I’ll keep thinking about it. I’ll go around the house making up songs to keep the house from being too quiet. When it’s time to go to sleep, I’ll recall parts of the movie that suddenly seem creepy. I’ll curse myself for watching it in the first place. That’s pretty much standard any time I watch a horror movie. For now, though, I’m watching the usual beginning scenes that are meant to introduce you to how not quite right things are in this imaginary universe. Nothing frightening yet, but it’s still early in the film. I’m fully prepared to regret watching soon.
Sometimes I make the same poor decisions in other areas of life. I throw out receipts that I have a feeling I’ll need later. I set my keys down knowing I’ll search frantically for them when it’s time to go. I predict negative outcomes and then strive for them. I make bad decisions and follow through with them. I wish it were a superpower so I could be proud of it.
Okay, so I finished watching “Pontypool.” It turned out to be more of a mystery/psychological thriller, so it appears I didn’t need to confess my poor horror-related decision-making in the first place. I also didn’t need to say that I engage in poor planning in other areas of my life, but too late now! I’ve already typed it and, according to the rule I just made up, I have to publish it. I got off easy this time because the movie turned out not to be scary. But I really shouldn’t work against myself like that so much. This post will be my reminder to listen to myself when I know I’m making a bad decision.
So here’s my quick note about bad decisions. Am I the only one? Do you do things you just know are going to cause problems later? How do you stop yourself?